Here I Sit

Here I sit. We are in our new place as of a week and a half ago. It is wonderful and terrifying all at the same time. Here I sit with ice cream and a movie after putting down a cranky almost 2 year old (I believe she entered the terrible two's a couple of months ago).

We have our own space!! It has been just a about a year since Olivia and I moved over and more than a year since we had our own place with daddy. Olivia having her own room = GREAT!. Mommy and daddy having their own room = AWESOME!. It is not in the best neighborhood in Tacoma but it is our own. We are hopeful for the situation with the landlord. The cats had no issue transitioning back to being indoor cats only. I cannot believe how much storage space there is in this place! One space is a long coat closet in the living room.... where Olivia likes to go to poop. HAHA! Actually, she has a few places. I have caught her behind the curtain where the washing machine is, I have caught her in the corner behind the table, and then in the closet. When I ask her if she is pooping, she promptly and loudly replies, "NO!". Yay for us as we get a big whiff of it as she comes walking out! I have heard of kids having places they like to go to do their business as they get older. I guess it is a good thing we got her a potty for her birthday!

Here are just a few photos on what it looked like before we moved our stuff in. I will have to share some more when I have finished unpacking. To be honest, I am quite impressed with myself and how much I have unpacked so far. When I first came to check the place out, Olivia was running crazy. It seemed like she felt right at home.

I am in the middle of trying to transition to working full time again while a coworker is on maternity leave. AHH! It is going to be wonderful and crazy all at the same time. I have been trying to get as much unpacked as possible and spend time with Olivia before the craziness begins. Oh yeah! And being a wife :-) I have so much respect for women who can juggle it all and with style. I wish that I could at least look put together on the outside. I have lots of ideas on how to be organized and get things done, but I am finding that the execution of it all is way more difficult than I thought. Mental games? I have not figured out what is holding me back. 

Learning to use stickers

Peak - A - Boo!

I have missed these kitty snuggles <3

Begging for something!

Learning to drive!

Here I sit, thinking about all of the things that I should be getting done. And yet, all I can think about is going to bed and preparing for Olivia's birthday party on Saturday (I cannot believe that she is going to be TWO!). Here I sit with sore feet and tired eyes. Why am I still awake? Because I want to get in the habit of blogging again, I want to get in the habit of documenting this journey again. 

It has been a fun filled summer, but I am ready for the crispness and slowing down that fall will bring. It is my goal to get out and enjoy the events going on around the community. I want to see the joy on Olivia's face as we experiences new things for the first time. It is going to  be a great fall. Here I sit, ready for the next phase of our lives to begin.

The Truth Is --

The truth is -- I have never felt so blessed to be a mother and yet I have never felt so lonely. When we moved back to the west side I had looked forward to reconnecting with old friends and making new ones, and nothing has happened. I am longing for a companion to talk with. Olivia brings so much joy to my life but she cannot have a conversation yet. 

The truth is -- I do not remember anyone telling me that you can have love and support from family and friends, but still feel like no one is around. We are currently living with family, and yet at times it feels like a bunch of strangers. It is a busy summer and everyone is always on the go. The frustrating part is when family near and far talk about how much they love our baby girl and want to see her and spend time with her, and then nothing. When people offer help and then when you go to reach out for it, no one is there to grab your hand. Some days I feel like I'm drowning. I am always afraid of who I am bothering by having Olivia with me. I should not feel ashamed or embarrassed to have my daughter with me! And yet it happens...

The truth is -- Olivia is not the little baby who everyone wants to just wants to hold and cuddle anymore, she is an almost two year old who can get very loud and never sits down. We are entering what I keep hearing is THE WORST age. Our child is loud, Our child hits, our child spits, our child cries for no reason... Our child is a child. She is learning and we are learning too. Sometimes we do not have the energy for dealing with her tantrums and we just let them happen.

The truth is -- I never feel that I have time to myself; even when I am away from Olivia, I am always thinking about her. She consumes all of my time, energy, and thoughts. And most of the time I love it!

The truth is -- when I was driving home yesterday by myself, I found myself crying and longing for some friends, some friends who understand the struggle. There are no words to finish the rest of this.

The truth is -- I think that we are going to make it. Olivia is not old enough to remember that I have a hard time going out and making mom friends so that she has someone to play with. She is not old enough to remember that when mom feels depressed, she gets to watch movies all day. She is not old enough to remember mom debating with people about her binkie use. She is not old enough to remember all the things that mom wants to teacher never happened and that it was everyone else who taught her.

 The truth is -- despite all of this, we are going to make it.

The truth is -- watching Olivia's language development has been an amazing experience! I took a course at Whitworth where all we learned was language development. I am finally in a place where I can see it in action! 

New Words: Peanut butter, sorry, five, help, cute, and many others. 

I do have to say, that if nothing else, our daughter will know: please, thank you, sorry... and next is yes ma'am/sir no ma/am sir. It is sad now few children I run into who have manners. I knew even before I was pregnant that that was one thing I wanted for my kids.

The truth is -- she is the light of my life. She keeps me going. I will keep on giving kisses, even when she doesn't want them. I will keep on telling her that she is beautiful everyday. I will keep on doing the best that I can and remember that it is all for her.

The truth is --life is hard. But we need to find the little bit of paradise in each day. Mine is when I ask Olivia for a kiss and she grabs my face and pulls me close while she kisses my lips. 

Make sure to find your piece of paradise today.

Adventures in Arizona

And just like that we are down to three and a half days left in Arizona! Sure, the trip has been filled with driving kids around and 111* weather. HOT HOT HOT! Although it does not feel as hot as even 85* is in Washington. We have been in the pool ALMOST everyday and have had lots of adventures.

Olivia LOVES the horses. She enjoys watching the girls ride, petting the horse's noses, and she even got to sit on one! It is a good thing that grandma Sheila owns horses :-) Olivia is also very close to saying 'horse' properly. Even as I sit here and type this, she is pointing at the screen saying, "ahthorse! ahthorse!" (Mulan is on in the background and she would rather look at the pictures!) I definitely see riding in the not so distant future. And think about all the skills and lessons she will learn working in a barn! Grandma Sheila, she is all yours :-)

"Look mom! A horse!"

 I love this girl so much <3

This is Allie... the horse :)

Like I said, we have been in the pool almost everyday. With the weather getting as hot as it has, that is really the only thing to do. The other day we had a scare with Olivia. That night we went out and bought a life jacket. She did not like the one we had last summer (it was big on her) so I was not sure how she would respond to this one. She has done okay! I told her it was a coat and was able to get it on her the last two times we have gone in  the pool. I have been trying to get her to float on her back, she doesn't like it at all. Since she likes to pretend to sleep and snore at home, I told her that is what she is doing. Nope! Didn't buy that for a moment. It is not a surprise at all seeing as she does not like to lay back in the bath to get the shampoo out of her hair.

Without a doubt, we need to get Olivia into swim lessons this summer. If you know me, I am not a water person at all. Since being down here, I am trying to push myself yo at least pretend to enjoy it. There have even been a couple of times where I hopped in the pool while she was sleeping to do some "laps". Water safety is so important! Just because Olivia loves the water so much, I need to make sure I am prepared to jump in if needed.

She threw a fit because I told her she had to put on her bathing suit and sunscreen if she wanted to go in the pool. Then it was time out.

You want me to take a nice picture?? Take that mom!

Another case of not wanting to put on her bathing suit

 

Uh oh! Look at those cheeks! :-O

I am learning lots of lessons for later on. I have dealt with a kid getting bit by a dog, a knee injury, a kid getting stung by a bee, and preteen drama/attitude (although this one was not very bad at all). I tend to worry a lot about things. I tried very hard to not freak out, but these are not my children and it may have taken a while to get a hold of the parents if something more serious had happened. Side note, when watching children while their parents are out of town, make sure you are authorized to talk to their doctor! I had called about the dog bite and found out I was not authorized.... thankfully their mom was able to call the next day and get it straightened out. Check to see if the animal bite broke skin. Ibuprofen and ice packs for the knee. Watch the area where the bee sting occurred. Send kids to room who cannot get along. Reward good behavior with treats.... These four kids really are great. They are well behaved and hold each other accountable. I have been very blessed.

~~~~~~~~~

Olivia had her first movie theater experience! We went and saw The Angry Birds Movie. Although I did not think the movie was all that great, she did really well. Since she is so young, I did not have to buy a ticket for her. At this theater it was recliner chairs and reserved seating. I strategically picked three seats next to each other starting with an aisle seat. Then there was an empty seat followed by other seats that were taken.

aisle <--- XX X __ X X X X X X X

I figured that the odds of someone taking a single seat like that was low. And I was right! It was great because it gave Olivia her own seat and we didn't have to pay for it :-) We ate dinner at In-N-Out Burger right before heading to the theater. I figured we would not have buy as many treats. I cannot believe how much popcorn this girl scarfed down! Thankfully my soda was on the other side but she got to my licorice too! I didn't think she had the room for it in her little belly.  She sat still for most of the movie. But like her mom, when she's done, she is done and it is time to go. She got out of her seat, walked to the top of the aisles (one or two more rows up) and tried to walk behind everyone. I picked her up and we walked out of the movie. We ran down the hall, went to the bathroom, then walked around a little more before making it back to our seats to get the other two kids.

I want to take her to see Finding Dory that comes out this month. I know I know.... she isn't even two yet! But she loves to watch Finding Nemo at home so she knows the characters. Yes, I have always been one to say, "why not wait until your kid is old enough to ACTUALLY REMEMBER the experience? Don't waste your money!" And that is for anything. But I love to watch her reactions. And I want to see the movie too! If I do not have to pay for a seat and she sits still, why not?

We have had a couple of adventures at the park and shopping. We even found a Dutch Bros! If I was house sitting, I would probably be there everyday. We are having a blast! And that must be why I can hardly believe that our two weeks are almost up :-( I really do think that we are both going to miss it down here. I believe that I have been bitten by the travel bug! It is a shame that Olivia turns two soon and that I would have to pay for a seat for her :/

What was I Thinking!?

On Thursday, May 26th, Olivia and I boarded a plane for a two week adventure in Arizona! That's right.... TWO WEEKS, IN THE SUN! Oh yeah, and our purpose for being here is to babysit, EEEKK! I have never been to Arizona and I am excited to explore and soak in the sun.

     Security                Waiting at the gate        On the plane

 

Let me back track. While I was at Whitworth University, I was introduced to this wonderful family and was blessed to be their babysitter up until I was 8 months pregnant and they moved to Arizona. It broke my heart! Even though I knew I probably would not have continued to babysit, they meant the world to me. Last summer, they were back in Spokane for a visit and invited me over so that they could meet Olivia. While we were visiting, the mother asked, "so, what are the odds that we could fly you and Olivia down to watch the kids for two weeks while we go to South Africa?" 'Yes! That should not even be a question!' I had made up my mind, I was going. I was moving to the west side and had no plans to get a job at the time.

It wasn't until last week when it really hit me what I was getting myself into. Five kids. That's right, five. Olivia (1 yr 9mo), Henry (6), Rita (9), Anna (12), Shelby (14). Oh man, oh man. Going from being a fairly new mom to a mom of 5, one of whom is a teen, is quite interesting. There are also two dogs, a poodle and a purebred Great Dane (who is 2). And two horses. I sure do have my hands full! But these kids are great. Actually, they are the best. It will be a challenge but I am hoping to come away with Olivia knowing how to share and talking some more.

As you might imagine, I had to give myself a pep talk before coming down here. I told myself to not let anything happen because I am not able to pick up the phone call the parents. What do I do? When I got home yesterday from dropping them off at the airport, I broke one of the drawers in the kitchen... -_- Yeah, I will be calling the landlord on Tuesday to find out what I should do. Then today, one of the girls informed me that she tweaked her knee and that she was in pain. Great! I am trying not to panic but I know that knee injuries are nothing to mess with. The dogs caught and killed a large lizard. The girls were worried that it may be a poisonous lizard, so of course I had to dispose of it. I went and got a plastic Then Olivia broke the cute little bowl they bought for her :(

On a happier note: Olivia was a trooper on the plane! She was squirmy but not loud at all. She has pooped already! YAY FOR NO CONSTIPATION! And she LOVED being in the pool today. Pretty sure it is going to be hard to keep Olivia away from the pool. Look at this cute swimsuit they had waiting for her! <3 I would love to get Olivia into swim classes this summer. I should probably learn how to swim myself :/

Well, it is getting late and I need to head to bed. Here is a good night shot from Arizona. I want to find a place were I can get a really good shot before we leave.