It truly is amazing how much your life is changed after having a child. There is so much that changes and if you do not take a moment to stop not only recognize but acknowledge the change, you will be missing out. I thought that learning to make sacrifices in my marriage was going to take a lot of effort and getting used to. Well, it is even bigger and more precious when you are talking about your child. Here are just a few of the things that I am sacrificing for my beautiful daughter:
1. A decent nights sleep (we do not sleep all that well anyway but to make sure that she does not wake up all the way, there are times that we have to hop up real quick to get her binky in her mouth before she realizes that she is waking up). Also because I get a second wind of energy as soon as she goes to sleep so that I can clean what I was not able to do while she was awake.
2. A spontaneous lifestyle. Mike and I had a "routine" to get things done but really enjoyed doing things last minute and whenever we wanted. I guess that this sacrifice is actually really good for us because we are learning to plan things in advance. This includes spending time with friends.
3. Time with my husband. In order to save money on childcare, Mike and I are rotating taking care of Olivia. It works really well except that we do not see each other very much. Really, the only evening we have that we could possibly do date nights is Saturday.
4. "Fashion". I put that in quotes because I have never been into the biggest trends with clothes or having to have my hair perfect. However, I find that I wear my fair messy and the same way almost every day. I also find that I am doing the absolute minimum with makeup- foundation, mascara, and blush. If I do not have these, I look really pale and then people are asking me all day if I am sick. It would be nice to get some new clothes as I continue to fight to lose these last few pregnancy pounds. But, Olivia is moving into 6 month clothes. We have a few outfits that we have received as gifts (thank you!) but we will need to go and get some more.
5. Friendships. Not as in I am ending relationships but things are definitely changing. I do not have as much energy as I used to. And unless you have kids, it really is hard to understand. Not saying that those who are nanny or committed babysitters don't get, but they do get to go home at the end of the day and the kids ate someone else's responsibility. Being first time parents is a lonely process if you don't know any other first time parents. Which leads great into the next thing I want to talk about.
I took Olivia to church for the first time yesterday! Mike was not feeling well (I think he caught my cold) so he stayed home to rest. It felt so great to be back in church! I knew there was a high chance that I would have to get up at leave but if I don't take her, she will never learn. Sure enough, about a half hour in, I had to leave my friend Stephanie and walk out with Olivia to try and quiet her. What happened next was.... interesting. As I walked out into the large entrance room and towards some couches, I saw a man sitting on a couch with a baby girl a little older than Olivia; she was crawling. We made eye contact, I smiled, but nothing was said as I walked to another set of couches. As I liked around, I saw a young gal posing with her baby boy on table not far from the man. There was another parent pacing back and forth with his baby girl in his arms. While trying to give Olivia my attention, I could not help but notice the slow trickle of parents coming out of the sanctuary. They all took a moment to survey the area and then walked their child to the place with the least amount of people. It hit me when I came back inside with Olivia, we had stepped out because she started to scream, and a woman sitting on the floor next to a pillar with her baby boy looked up at Olivia and smiled but said nothing as she wiggly liked back to her son. How is it that there can be so many of us with little ones in the same room and yet no one is talking to each other or encouraging their children to greet the other kids?
Part of the reason that I wanted to go back to church was that we could find some families with little ones that we could make friends with. It was maybe five minutes before the end of the service when I finally found the parents room. I had been looking for a lactation room when I came across it. I knew that the sermon was almost over but I decided to go in anyway. The atmosphere was so different! The first thing I saw was a woman in the floor changing her new babies diaper. When I turned my head to survey the room, there was a woman breastfeeding, a couple of men, a few other mothers, and kids paying with toys and talking to their parents. What a complete change in atmosphere! It seems as though these parents come to this room every week and know each other. Yup, this is where I will be with my little one. I have social anxiety so it will be a challenge but we really want Olivia to start interacting with other little ones. And it was so awkward to be out in the big room. All of the parents in the parent room where older than me, but that is okay... I have always had a tendency to hang out with people a generation or two older than me anyway.
And just because you want to know, she had some creamy poop! Yay! We gave her squash two days in a row so we are going to wait a couple days and then dive back in. Like I said before, she keeps more of that down then the rice cereal. I do have Cream of Wheat, maybe I will try it.
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