So Much Harder

I had heard about and read about the challenges of putting your child into daycare at different ages. The younger they are, the more difficult it is for the parent, especially a new parent. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will on the child. Well, it was just as difficult for me. I knew it was going to be worse but I didn't expect the second day to be this hard.

I tried to get a second day picture and this is what I got after we pulled up and she realized where we were.

I knew at that point that is was going to be rough. I managed to get her to walk most of the way by herself. But once we got to the door, it was all a mess! Screaming, tears, gripping. I had to pry her off of me to be able to leave. My heart was breaking! I stopped on the side of the house and was praying that she would calm down. She only got louder. Then I heard her scream, "LET GO OF ME!" :'-( My heart! I had never heard her say that before! It took everything I had to make myself walk to the car, know that God was looking after her, and that she would be okay. I cried ask the way to work. My stomach was in know. I just about turned around to pick her up, take her home, and cuddle for the whole day. I was ready to quit my job today so I could stay home with her.

When I got to my office I called the daycare and they told me it took her a few minutes to calm down but that she was sitting quietly eating breakfast with the other kids. Hearing that have a little relief. I am not sure how much I believe them. I have a really hard time trusting people, especially when it comes to my baby. No one, NO ONE will ever love her the way I love her.

It was really hard to focus at work. I texted a couple friends who I know have gone through the same emotional rollercoaster. I hardly are anything. I just wanted to get to her!

When I finally arrived, she came running around the corner of the"classroom". It felt so good to scoop her up! She looked okay. They said she had taken a very long nap. I'm sure she did! She exhausted herself from screaming and crying. 

The other thing that have slight prefer if mind is that they have a secret Facebook group where they will post pictures of the kids for their parents and grandparents to see. Today they posted pictures welcoming Olivia and then pictures of the kids doing activities. It felt great to see her engaged in the activities. These are the photos of when they introduced her :-) Haha! That hair!

Here is one from today where she was playing

Mike has the day of tomorrow so he is going to take her to daycare... For a couple of reasons. Usually he didn't have time in the mornings to take her, I can get you work when I need to without worrying about how long it will take me to drop her off, and he needs to do it so he know that he can. When I called him this morning to tell him what happened, he told me that she would be fine. Yeah... I want to see how he handled his heart being ripped out when she screams as he tries to leave. It is horrible! Please pray that she gets the hang of it quickly and understand that it is a safe place. We want her to be happy and to learn.