Ding Dong the Binkies are GONE!

We receive passive aggressive comments from people all the time about Olivia using binkies. "Isn't she too old for those?" "Won't it ruin her teeth?" "I can't understand her with that binky in her mouth". Well, we were not ready to fight the battle of getting rid of the binkies. She is stubborn and we just did not have the energy.

We did decided that were not going to replace the binkies as they broke or disappeared. We have been down to our last one for a few weeks now and she has chewed it pretty well. Well.... last night she called for me from her bed and she finally chewed through it! I was actually sad for her. She asked for the baby binky in the living room (one that Lincoln received at his shower). I told her I would look (NOT) and bring it to her if I found it. She was already half asleep so she fell asleep pretty easily. I am not going to lie. I texted my sisters that I wanted to go buy her more binkies today. They told me not to. :-( I response was that I would have to admit that she is growing up and I am not ready for that at all! She is MY BABY!

Tonight she put up a fight as we were getting ready for bed. This was the true test as to whether she will fall asleep at night without it. I finally got her down at about 8:30. She called me in at one time to find a horse that she was sleeping with that got tangled in the blankets. I went in at about 9:20 and she sat up in her bed :/ Hopefully she will be asleep soon! I know that she doesn't use a binky for naps at school, but she has always had one at home for naps and bedtime. We used it in the car too for when she was having tired meltdowns. I guess we have to let her grow up :-(

It will be interesting to see if she tries to steal Lincoln's binkies. It was so cute and funny at the baby shower; whenever we pulled out binkies from a gift she would say, "Oooo! I love my binkies!" while hugging them <3 Goof!

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I have been dealing with back pain for a few months now. I have been seeing a chiropractor twice a week. I have considered physical therapy to help with the pain. Last week, my chiropractor used me as a guinea pig for a quick test. He recommended that I get a Sciatica Lumbar & Hip Compression Brace - Sacroiliac Joint Support & Lower Back Pain Relief. While I wait for its arrival tomorrow, he loaned me a back brace that I wear low on my back. I have NEVER been more excited to just be normal pregnant uncomfortable!!I cannot wait for the thinner belt to get here. I may be able to wait until closer to my due date for Lincoln now. Lately I have been telling people that he can come out any time now and I would greatly appreciate it :-D

I also feel that I am at the point in my pregnancy where any day I will wake up with my stomach three inches farther out and stretch marks. There is no more room for him in there! Some days he is definitely sitting very low. Today I felt like I was going to pop as I walked around work. I am definitely not one of those ladies who enjoys being pregnant... I enjoy the cuddles when the little one is finally here. 

Since my back has been feeling better, I have definitely been in the mood to nest! I need to get rid of a lot of things, prep the kids' room (kinda weird to day), and clean, clean, clean!

Oh My Soul

I have been having a ton of back pain with this pregnancy. So much so that I have to either sleep on the couch or a maternity air mattress that I bought. Last week after seeing my chiropractor, I was feeling really well and decided to try sleeping in our bed again. WORST. DECISION. EVER. I was in so much pain the next day. I went and saw my chiropractor this morning and he said he could tell that I am having a lot of issues in my back and hips.

Recently, we have also be struggling with Olivia. The TERRIBLE THREES are a real thing... it is horrible. When I picked her up from daycare today, I was informed that she has been "in a mood" all day. Great! That is all that I could think. I just spent the last 5 days with her 24/7 and could not wait to have her go to school today. And here we go... another night of frustration, screaming, and crying. Thankfully Megan and our friend Jackie came by to visit.

After they left, it was an instant fight to get a diaper on and then Olivia informed me that she was hungry. I really considered putting her to bed without dinner, but I knew that she would wake up at 2am and be hungry. I 

half-reluctantly gave in and gave her some food. While we were eating she started to try and sing. All I could hear were incomprehensible words and the word soul. Over and over. I was so confused. Then it hit me! She was singing, "Bless the Lord Oh my Soul, Oooh oh oh my Soul". <3 <3 My anger and frustration instantly went away. I remembered that at daycare they listen to Christian music in the background and that is where she must hear it frequently. I listen to the Christian station in the car and sometimes at home when we are cooking or cleaning. She was so excited when I went to YouTube and played the song for her, she said, "It's my favorite!". My heart melted.

Thank you Lord for the reminder that You are there and that I can let go of the anger and frustration. 

I have to remember that there are more important things in life. I do not want Olivia to look back and remember me being cranky and angry all the time. I am thirty and a half weeks pregnant. We have about two and a half months left until Lincoln gets here! We are always talking about him, and I wonder if part of her acting out is because she knows that there are changes happening. I know that the cats start to go crazy when they know that something is up. If you have a moment, say a prayer for us as we make this transition and grow our family. I love Olivia so much and this transition will be just as hard for Mike and I when we have two wonderful children to love unconditionally.

Our Little Addition

We found out on Friday that we are having a LITTLE BOY!

Lincoln Atwater is 20 weeks and 11 oz. The tech said that he is measuring a few days big. We are beyond excited to be adding a little boy to our family. Before we started to have kids, we wanted to have a son first. I was not sure how to feel when I found out that Olivia was a girl. And now, I am not sure how I feel about raising a boy! I know that every child is different and even if we were having another girl that she probably would have been very different from Olivia... so maybe it is just a psychological thing.

Mike is going to have to really set the example for him and how to be a gentleman. He was SO PROUD when we were told it was a boy. He now thinks that our little family is complete! (Little does he know that I have different plans ;-) Hehe!) We have evened out our family!

Olivia is not too thrilled about having to share a room. But that is what is going to happen! What is it like to have a boy and girl share a room? I have shared a room basically my entire life, but it was always with my sister(s). I have started to do some looking on Pinterest for ideas for storage and organization. It is going to be a huge transition for all of us and will take some time. 

17 +5

Seventeen weeks and five days. That is how far along I am with baby Goober #2! I feel like I am so much farther than that. Besides showing earlier because it is baby #2, I have an umbilical hernia, I am more tired from chasing a toddler, and for the life of me cannot find a comfortable position to sleep in! I guess that if these are my only issues... I am very blessed. I am thankful for easy pregnancies. At one of my last appointments, the nurse was asking me routine questions and three questions in stops and says, "Oh yeah! You are my easy patient!" Glad I can make your day easy :-D

I have so much respect for single, pregnant moms. There are mornings when I just don't have the energy or am in pain and Mike will hop up and take Olivia to school for me. Especially with the hernia, I am trying to make sure that I am taking it easy and not overdoing things. This is definitely hard with Olivia.

Potty Training Update:

It has been going well for the most part. This week has been a little weird and she has actually been having multiple accidents a day :/ That is definitely not what we want to hear. Ugh! One day at a time. One. Day. At. A. Time. She will still fight me when I tell her that it is time to go potty at home. But! We have only had to throw away 3 pairs of panties because of poop. Yay! I just pray that by the time baby is there that she will be fully potty trained. I know there is a great chance that she may regress, but we will deal with that as it comes. She is still in pull-ups at nap time and a diaper at night. I have a feeling that the diaper will still be used for a while. I know that I was a deep sleeper and had accidents for several years. Some things just take time.

We are getting close to Olivia's birthday! It took us until today to finally set something up so that family can come and wish her a happy birthday. It is hard with Mike's schedule because he works on the weekends :/ Thankfully he will have her actual birthday off so that we can do something special for her. Like getting her a pet fish! She loves to go to the pet store and check out all the fish (she is always looking for Nemo and Dory). So we thought that we would get her one for her birthday. For Christmas, we are getting her a big girl's bed so that we can prepare the crib for the arrival of the little one.

Just wanted to give a quick update. My back is starting to hurt, so I need to go find something to do that is a little more comfortable. Until the next time that my mind is clear enough to type.

No Accidents

Olivia successfully made it the entire day with only one pair of underwear! No accidents, woohoo! I was shocked when I walked into daycare and found her in the skirt that she was dropped off in. This is a good sign since daycare is closed next week and we will have Olivia all by ourselves..... say a prayer for us. Haha!

Potty training is definitely not fun.

When I told the daycare staff today that Olivia still fights me, especially when it is time to wash her hands, they were a little shocked. She cooperates so much better for everyone else! I stood there and watched daycare do the routine. I tried to mimic it at home with not much luck. I switched it up a little bit to better fit by style, and it did not really do anything. Next week we should be moving to taking her to the potty every hour and a half instead of every hour.

We had a busy weekend and there was quite a but of time that Olivia spent in a pull-up and I just let her go in it. She did a pretty good job transitioning back to using the potty. She still gets excited when she goes on he potty and celebrates.

Here is Olivia at a splash pad after church on Sunday. We did not plan to go to the water, so all we had was her pull-up.

Say a prayer for us as we continue on this journey. We still have several weeks to go in this potty training program.

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I have to share a bit of the scary side of having a child. I can tell story after story of the things that my siblings and I did when we were younger and all of the trips to the ER. Well, Olivia has been to the ER a couple of times in her short life and we went on Monday night. We had dinner and I wanted to relax for a few minutes before giving her a bath and putting her to bed. She decided that she wanted to play with my jewelry, which she often does. Before I knew it, she was screaming, rubbing her nose, and sneezing. PANIC!! I just remember dropping her at the front door, running to grab my purse, phone, and diapers. I did not know how long we were going to be there, but I did not want her to have an accident on top of everything else. We rushed to the ER. The staff was kind. Not the fastest though... After some drugs to calm her down, and an additional person to help me hold her down, they were able to get the item out of her nose. No more jewelry!

Whispering sweet nothings into mommy's ear <3

 This is Olivia after the drugs.

She has started to randomly come up and whisper in my ear. It tickles my side! I laugh every time :-D Watching her personality blossom has been such a joy. She has started to do this thing when she gets really excited. She will squeal and say whatever it is that she is excited about and then she sticks out her tongue and pants. Haha! I don't know where it comes from, but it is adorable and hilarious. I cannot wait to see what comes next from her.

Potty Training!

We are coming up on the end of the second week of potty training! Our daycare is taking the lead on potty training and I could not be more happy :-) They are leading Olivia through a 12 week.... yes, a 12 week.... potty training journey. I was dreading having to do potty training and had heard several people say to take a couple days off of work, lock ourselves at home, push the fluids, and run for the toilet! The staff phrased it nicely today. They pointed out that to change a behavior/start or stop a habit, it takes at least 21 days of consistency. Their program builds the children up to where they need to be and that is why it takes 12 weeks. When parents try to cram it into a few days, they are actually training themselves to look for indicators that their child needs to go to the bathroom. It makes sense to me! To each their own, and different strategies work for different people. I feel beyond blessed by our daycare.

Olivia has been doing a GREAT job from day one! She gets stickers every time she puts her potty in the toilet. She is so proud of herself :-) This week she actually put poo poo in the toilet for the first time! And on Wednesday she moved from pull-ups to big girl underwear... of course it had to be Frozen themed. Haha! Whatever will encourage you baby girl.

Here is a quick story from one of our first days of potty training:

I have not laughed this hard in such a long time!

This week we started potty training with Olivia. She had been doing great at school, but not so well at home. We she actually when twice today at home! We put her to bed just after 8pm. At 9:30pm we heard her door. I went back to put her in bed and quickly realized she wasn't wearing pants! Then I noticed she didn't have her diaper on. There was a small wet spot on her mattress. I called Mike in to help me find the diaper she took off.

He walked into the closest and immediately started yelling. OLIVIA TOOK OFF HER DIAPER AND PEED ON THE FLOOR IN HER CLOSEST AND MIKE STEPPED IN IT! Hahaha! I was dying. Kim came in and started laughing as well. As soon as he had a towel he ran to the bathroom to wash his feet. Olivia decided this was a good time to bring her diaper to daddy since he had been asking for it. IT WAS DRY!!

Oh my! I seriously could not stop laughing. How do you deal with that??

 There have been no more accidents like this. So thankful!

Currently we are taking her to the potty every hour on the hour. It can be a lot, but I know that it will pay off. She is in a pull-up at nap time at school, and in a diaper at bedtime. One thing we will ave to address soon is that lately as we have been putting her in bed, she has been asking for water. She will drink ALL THE WATER. We have realized that we need to give just a tiny amount of water. When we get to the point that she starts wearing underwear at night, it could be awful. I was a bed wetter for several years. I think largely because I am such a deep sleeper. I feel like Olivia is a deep sleeper, but we will find out I guess.

We have also been working on going potty when we are out and about - at Nana and Papa's house, at the grocery store, at the mall. She has done really well! Mike is not sure how he feels about her having to hold onto a public toilet though. We just need to make sure that we wash her hands really well afterwards. I could have her hold onto my arms instead, but I have a feeling that she will fight me because that is not how she does it at school and at home. Mike has not taken her potty in public yet either. I have a feeling that that will be a story to be shared later.

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We are so thankful for our friend Emma! Olivia and her have such a great time together and they are both still learning to share. What I really appreciate is that Emma understands that Olivia is younger and does not speak as well as her. Because Olivia is tall, I feel that kids out in public think that she is weird because she does not talk at their level. She is still so young! Her language has developed tremendously. 

The kids in our building have been very sweet to Olivia. They have recently started coming to the door and asking if Olivia can come out and play with them. One boy in particular has been so sweet. Yesterday he came to me when we were arriving home and said that he was going to buy Olivia a fidget spinner, a PINK fidget spinner. I told him that he was sweet, but that he did not need to do that. Well, shortly after we got home today, there was a knock on the door. This boy was there asking to see Olivia. He bought her a pink, glow in the the dark fidget spinner! You should have been there to see her eyes light up! I could tell that she wanted to give him a hug, but instead she said thank you with the biggest smile on her face. Her hands are still a little small to use it the way that most people do, so we will need to explore some other ways to play with it. So thankful for the kind and caring people in our building, even if the neighborhood itself is not the best.

Over It

Praying, and praying, and more praying.

Today is one of those days where I am over parenting. Today is one of those days where I want someone, anyone, to come pick Olivia up so that I can have time to myself. Today is one of those days where I want to put her to bed right now and pray that she wakes up in a better mood.

We started potty training yesterday, with the help of the amazing daycare staff. In the middle of the day I received an email that Olivia had put pee pee in the toilet 3-4 times already (she is taken in every hour)! Woohoo! She was very proud of herself and I was having a proud mommy moment. For the drive to get her, I thought, "man! This potty training thing is going to be easy!" People told us that she should have been trained already; that we should be done changing diapers already; that she would be embarrassed around her friends who were already trained. Yay! It is finally are turn!

It started with a stop at the store to pick up pull-ups for at home. I had gotten some for daycare, but forgot to get some for ourselves. Full on toddler meltdown at the store. Alright... she is hungry and wants to go home. To make a long story short, I got her on the potty once. ONCE. It was right before bed and forced. UGH! Very frustrating. Whatever, today was only the first day and we can start fresh tomorrow.

I figured that she would be excited to show her daddy since I had seen her go potty at school. NOPE! We had to force her again. What are we doing wrong? Why does she behave so well at daycare and is so compliant? My frustration was setting in. We had an in home physical exam today for life insurance. So to top of my day, I got poked by a needle... I cannot stand needles. Anyways...

I pick Olivia up today and I have a great talk with the staff about a new plan and feel good. We get home and there is another meltdown. After a little while, I was able to get her to calm down and we had some dinner while talking with auntie Lulu and auntie Megan. I was about to get her out of her chair when I leaned in to tell her about taking a bath and using the potty before we go in the water. BAM! She slapped me in the face. As a reflex I found myself smacking her back across the cheek. I told her to never hit, picked her up, and put her in her bed. I took a moment to walk outside for some "fresh" air before heading back in. That is when I decided to sit down and type out my frustrations and imperfections. It breaks my heart that I slapped her in the face, but she needs to know how it feels and that she cannot do that. As I am sitting here typing, she is still in her room. It sounds like she is coloring. That is what she often does when I close her in her room.

I am tired and have hit a point where I need a break from her. I LOVE my daughter, but I am mentally, physically, and emotionally drained right now. I feel like it is the same as my marriage. Every once in a while, we could use a long weekend apart. So. Who wants to come pick her up?! She is a sweetheart and very good for others. Two really is a fun age if you can get past the temper tantrums. I don't even want to deal with pictures right now. I will keep you updated on the potty training journey. Please say a prayer for us and our relationship. I love you Olivia Mae.

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

I now fully understand what it means to have a toddler in the Terrible Twos.

When she firs turned two, I thought to myself, "This is going to be a great year! Olivia is sweet and I know that she is just going to be a good girl". The first few months were fine. I mean, the best they could be with a transition to daycare, then we took the front off of her crib, and finally a move to one of the units downstairs. But she did really well.

Boy oh boy does she have a stubborn streak! Mike was telling me this morning that he told her to sit down and put on her shoes for daycare and she blurted out a strong NO..... Needless to say that that did not go over well.

But there have been some amazingly sweet moments! We have moved into a phase the last couple of months where she is waking up before us. Sometimes I am in the process of trying to talk myself into getting up, but often she wakes up to my first alarm and is wide awake before me. Anyways... It is the sweetest sound to here her door crack open, the pitter patter of her little feet and the swishing of her blanket as it trails on the ground behind her. The next thing I know I feel some little fingers on my arm or back as she is trying to get my attention. A whisper, "Hi Mommy!". (LOVE!) I pull her up onto our bed and she snuggles herself down right next to me as we get comfortable. When she first started doing this, there was a morning when she climbed in our bed and fell back to sleep. It was so precious to just watch her sleep. The sound of her sucking on her binky will remain one of my favorite sounds ever! She does it right in my ear. Sometimes we whisper to each other how much we love each other as we try not to wake daddy up. Sometimes I point out daddy and she crawls over me to lick him. Haha! That's right, she has entered a licking phase.

For a little while she was picking at her fingernails and toenails all the time. Then I caught her in the car one day taking off her shoes and socks and sucking on her toes. Eww! Lately it has been more about sticking all of her fingers in her mouth (sometimes gagging) and licking people! Not sure where she got it from, but she is loving the reactions that she gets. I'll apologize in advance if she licks you! Sorry!

Random meltdowns in the store. Throwing herself down at home. The attitude. It is so draining! Some days it is hour to hour, and some days it is minute to minute. I will say that things are getting better as her language continues to develop. Daycare has been AMAZING for her! They are working on conversational language with her right now. We are so blessed to have found this daycare. God definitely was watching out for us. She can count to 20 and can identify most of the letters in the alphabet. She love to sing her ABC's and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Not just sing, she belts them out.

Learning to share is hard for a two year old! I think that Olivia has done really well though. She loves to make little friends and to have people follow her. She will make a great big sister someday. I have heard that three is worse than two. Well, I realized that her birthday is in about 3 months, so Here. We. Go!