Over It

Praying, and praying, and more praying.

Today is one of those days where I am over parenting. Today is one of those days where I want someone, anyone, to come pick Olivia up so that I can have time to myself. Today is one of those days where I want to put her to bed right now and pray that she wakes up in a better mood.

We started potty training yesterday, with the help of the amazing daycare staff. In the middle of the day I received an email that Olivia had put pee pee in the toilet 3-4 times already (she is taken in every hour)! Woohoo! She was very proud of herself and I was having a proud mommy moment. For the drive to get her, I thought, "man! This potty training thing is going to be easy!" People told us that she should have been trained already; that we should be done changing diapers already; that she would be embarrassed around her friends who were already trained. Yay! It is finally are turn!

It started with a stop at the store to pick up pull-ups for at home. I had gotten some for daycare, but forgot to get some for ourselves. Full on toddler meltdown at the store. Alright... she is hungry and wants to go home. To make a long story short, I got her on the potty once. ONCE. It was right before bed and forced. UGH! Very frustrating. Whatever, today was only the first day and we can start fresh tomorrow.

I figured that she would be excited to show her daddy since I had seen her go potty at school. NOPE! We had to force her again. What are we doing wrong? Why does she behave so well at daycare and is so compliant? My frustration was setting in. We had an in home physical exam today for life insurance. So to top of my day, I got poked by a needle... I cannot stand needles. Anyways...

I pick Olivia up today and I have a great talk with the staff about a new plan and feel good. We get home and there is another meltdown. After a little while, I was able to get her to calm down and we had some dinner while talking with auntie Lulu and auntie Megan. I was about to get her out of her chair when I leaned in to tell her about taking a bath and using the potty before we go in the water. BAM! She slapped me in the face. As a reflex I found myself smacking her back across the cheek. I told her to never hit, picked her up, and put her in her bed. I took a moment to walk outside for some "fresh" air before heading back in. That is when I decided to sit down and type out my frustrations and imperfections. It breaks my heart that I slapped her in the face, but she needs to know how it feels and that she cannot do that. As I am sitting here typing, she is still in her room. It sounds like she is coloring. That is what she often does when I close her in her room.

I am tired and have hit a point where I need a break from her. I LOVE my daughter, but I am mentally, physically, and emotionally drained right now. I feel like it is the same as my marriage. Every once in a while, we could use a long weekend apart. So. Who wants to come pick her up?! She is a sweetheart and very good for others. Two really is a fun age if you can get past the temper tantrums. I don't even want to deal with pictures right now. I will keep you updated on the potty training journey. Please say a prayer for us and our relationship. I love you Olivia Mae.